My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
