On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
