don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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