So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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