Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
