just tell him i said nine months
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
