maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize