The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We're too hungover to prance.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
