Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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