it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
