Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
