glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
