She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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