I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
we should paint friendship bongs
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
