What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
