You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
