i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
