I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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