Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
