I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
