8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
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Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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