Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
