We won't sleep together?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
