I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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