ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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