Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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