There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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