Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It was confusing and full of hummus
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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