every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
