My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
