so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
