Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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