Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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