Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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