Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
