They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
