So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
