yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
