There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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