I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
