By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
