his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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