I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
