if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
