I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I am one with the molecules
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
