does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize