i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
