I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
