felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
