First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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