oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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