Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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