im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize