Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
