We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Plan B is the new Plan A
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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