I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
