grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
organizing the empties. That sober.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
