if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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