I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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