Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
